Reflecting on the past year..

I moved here September of 2008, I decided to move out May 2008. So things went pretty fast, especially for such a big change. So I was thinking about how I feel about the past year and the choices I have made.

I truly can say I feel like I have learned more about myself this past year than I have in any other year I have been on this Earth. I felt like I hit rock bottom a few times this past year. (Key word is felt, it could of been worse.)

Moving out was not the only big thing that happened to me in the past year.I had my grandfather who raised me since I can remember pass away in January, I lost all my financial aid money for school, I nearly got evicted, and I went through an appeal process to be declared independent.

Living on my own honestly helped me get through my rough times. I was living in my apartment for around four months before things began to go sour. In those four months I realized that there are so many things that affect you that you do not have control over I learned that the best thing you can do about it is not to dwell on it and work on the things you do have control over, like your school work, your job, and financial situations.

I am not saying I was ready for my grandfather to pass. Far from it. It happened so quickly, and I was left with a blend of anger, sadness, and a dash of depression.

Most people would want to be with their families at a time like that, I on the other hand just wanted to be left alone for the most part. Far away from the “are you okay” questions, why ask if you already know the answer?

Being in  my apartment allowed me to speak to people when I wanted and I knew no one would drop by unexpectedly to see how I was doing. It gave me the isolation that I felt was needed to reflect on his life and think about my life without him. Of course my girlfriend was around being as she lives with me. She was usually at work or school though. When I did want to talk about it was only her, my family, and my close friends back home.

So looking back I am happy with how far I have come and the choices I made to get here. I never thought I would be able to speak about this subject.

-Hak

In loving Memory Of

John J Lennon

June 12, 1932- January 24, 2009

~ by Hakeem Asri on October 31, 2009.